So the second day 2 proved to be a complete change to the last. I feel motivated and happy to be on the sobriety wagon and literally only had one thought of "wouldn't it be nice....." before the sober ninja part of my brain swooped in and kicked that thought to the kerb.
I walked my dogs this morning in the rain, wind and mud, mud everywhere. I made a silly mistake (bear with me on this for a minute) I put on the wrong boots. I unconsciously put on my hiking boots which have seen better days, rather than my wellies, as my mind was busy thinking about everything I had to do today. Due to all the rain in the last few weeks/months all my normal walks are swamps, ponds, quagmires etc just really muddy. Within a few minutes my boots were soaked, squelchy and mud logged, it was a careless mistake that had unwelcome consequences. Warning! I will be shamelessly linking this to staying sober.
I wasn't prepared, I didn't use the right tools and I let a lapse in concentration allow me to deviate from what I know is best (this played out so much better in my head on the walk but I am sticking with it) Being sober and remaining sober is the same, you need to be prepared, have the right tools and stay alert to what you are doing. I know it is a bit hoaky but it really did highlight to me how when distracted we can make silly mistakes. I was totally distracted by the voice in my head on New Years Eve and ended up with regret and remorse. Today I was distracted making plans for later and made completely the wrong choice, and me a veteran all weather dog walker! In these early days we need to be 100% aware of our surrounding, our plans, our weaknesses, anything that may pose a risk to our sobriety, we just need to be alert to the subtle shifts in thinking and do something to change the thoughts. In the best Girl Scout tradition - Be Prepared.
Coming back home later soaked, muddy and with very squelchy boots I was able to somehow translate all that into something positive in my head. Consequently the rest of my day was amazing and as I said I only had one moment of craving and that was it. Taking Sober Mummy's advice about Hot chocolate having magical properties, I have bought myself a fabulous china mug decorated beautifully that I shall use every evening as part of a new ritual. The best way to get rid of an old habit is to replace it with a new one, hot chocolate will be my new one.
Another early night for me with my massive novel I can't put down. I have to say today has really proved to be a great day, I feel really content today and looking forward to tomorrow. I hope all day 2 people are at least coping with the day, it really is swings and roundabouts in the early stages and we have to be kind to ourselves and show endless compassion as a change from beating ourselves up over how stupid we have been, or how much we time/money/life we have wasted. Now is not the time to drag over those old wounds, self care and self compassion are in order for the next 29 days. Hot baths, log fires, hot chocolate, sober sex, candles or incense, blogging, whatever will make your evening slip by a little smoother and help you know you are worth this journey. If you are new to reading or blogging, leave a comment and I will reply and check out your blog too.