Day 17 and my friend has returned home, sadly after hearing some bad news about a family member.
We have had a really good visit and it is a shame it ended like it did.
Today I woke up after a deep luxurious sleep unlike I have had since stopping drinking, still felt tired (I know! I am boring myself too) but I had 9.5 hours uninterrupted and only woke to go to the loo. When my friend woke up after some coffe we headed out to the garden to cut down some overgrown bushes and small trees. My friend being a gardener has all the tools and it made light work of what would have taken me weeks to do. She is a fierce hard worker and half my size. Within an hour I was hot bothered and hoping for a water break but she just kept pressing on and we cleared a large area and had the trunks, branches and twigs processed down to manageable sizes and two runs to the tip and it was mission accomplished. We had 6 Becks Blue over two nights.
Contrast this with previous visits. My friend arrives with at least 2-3 bottles of quality wine as she is wealthy on top of thin, pretty,fashionable, successful and charming. So about as opposite to me as one could imagine. I would already have bought in about 3-5 bottles of wine and most certainly have had a glass poured waiting for her to arrive from her 6 hour journey from London. That first bottle would be gone within an hour and we would start another shortly thereafter. We would drink and talk and laugh well into the early hours with the occasional telling off from my daughter (always the mature one around us) by the end of the evening 4 bottles of wine would have been drunk along with maybe a port or Armagnac. I would sleep fitfully and be awake by 8am with the dogs padding around anxious for their morning walk. That day the would be lost to hangover and sitting indoors chatting until 4pm when we would agree a hair of the dog was called for. Second night would be a repeat of the first. There would be no cutting down trees and runs to the tip. By the time my friend left we could well have drunk 30-40 units of alcohol EACH,
My friend told me twice this weekend how proud she was of me but also that I was her inspiration for quitting alcohol. She said when I quit before and she saw how happy and together I was she realised her days drinking were numbered. I won't go into detail but her last night drinking was a blackout mess and she recoiled when told the next day what happened. She stopped that day and has not had a drink since. That was 14 months ago and she has no regrets. She told me that when she saw me sober she had never even considered stopping, cutting back yes but stopping no. When she realised I was not boring or depressed and thinking about drinking all the time that maybe she should stop. Of course the irony is here she stopped drinking in April 2015 and I started back drinking again.
This was our first 'both sober' weekend and we both survived, had fun and still managed a good chat. We had earlier nights, drank more tea, remembered everything that had been said the night before and generally had a jolly good time together. I had a mini strop but my friend said she barely noticed when I apologised today.
I am tired from the visit as I am a bit if a loner and company means I have to be in good form and somewhat communicative (bar last night) but I still feel better for the visit.
Lastly I know I am going to be ok, I may have a wobble here or there but I know abstinence is the way forward for me and each day will prove that a little bit more. I am on the sober road and it feels right and good and where I should be. To anyone still trying, just give it a few weeks of one day at a time and it will feel a bit easier.