Tuesday, 7 June 2016

17/100 Missing -60 units of alcohol

Day 17 and my friend has returned home, sadly after hearing some bad news about a family member.
We have had a really good visit and it is a shame it ended like it did.

Today I woke up after a deep luxurious sleep unlike I have had since stopping drinking, still felt tired (I know! I am boring myself too) but I had 9.5 hours uninterrupted and only woke to go to the loo. When my friend woke up after some coffe we headed out to the garden to cut down some overgrown bushes and small trees. My friend being a gardener has all the tools and it made light work of what would have taken me weeks to do. She is a fierce hard worker and half my size. Within an hour I was hot bothered and hoping for a water break but she just kept pressing on and we cleared a large area and had the trunks, branches and twigs processed down to manageable sizes and two runs to the tip and it was mission accomplished. We had 6 Becks Blue over two nights.

Contrast this with previous visits. My friend arrives with at least 2-3 bottles of quality wine as she is wealthy on top of thin, pretty,fashionable, successful and charming. So about as opposite to me as one could imagine. I would already have bought in about 3-5 bottles of wine and most certainly have had a glass poured waiting for her to arrive from her 6 hour journey from London. That first bottle would be gone within an hour and we would start another shortly thereafter. We would drink and talk and laugh well into the early hours with the occasional telling off from my daughter (always the mature one around us) by the end of the evening 4 bottles of wine would have been drunk along with maybe a port or Armagnac. I would sleep fitfully and be awake by 8am with the dogs padding around  anxious for their morning walk. That day the would be lost to hangover and sitting indoors chatting until 4pm when we would agree a hair of the dog was called for. Second night would be a repeat of the first. There would be no cutting down trees and runs to the tip. By the time my friend left we could well have drunk 30-40 units of alcohol EACH,

My friend told me twice this weekend how proud she was of me but also that I was her inspiration for quitting alcohol. She said when I quit before and she saw how happy and together I was she realised her days drinking were numbered. I won't go into detail but her last night drinking was a blackout mess and she recoiled when told the next day what happened. She stopped that day and has not had a drink since. That was 14 months ago and she has no regrets. She told me that when she saw me sober she had never even considered stopping, cutting back yes but stopping no. When she realised I was not boring or depressed and thinking about drinking all the time that maybe she should stop. Of course the irony is here she stopped drinking in April 2015 and I started back drinking again.

This was our first 'both sober' weekend and we both survived, had fun and still managed a good chat. We had earlier nights, drank more tea, remembered everything that had been said the night before and generally had a jolly good time together. I had a mini strop but my friend said she barely noticed when I apologised today.

I am tired from the visit as I am a bit if a loner and company means I have to be in good form and somewhat communicative (bar last night) but I still feel better for the visit.

Lastly I know I am going to be ok, I may have a wobble here or there but I know abstinence is the way forward for me and each day will prove that a little bit more. I am on the sober road and it feels right and good and where I should be. To anyone still trying, just give it a few weeks of one day at a time and it will feel a bit easier.

Ginger Groundhog

28 comments:

  1. Wow - so interesting how the tables have turned and turned about there, and it must surely be encouraging to hear her perspective on how you were in your previous sober phase. Great stuff. You sound delightfully determined :-) Red xx

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    1. Yes feeling delightfully determined too.

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  2. I'm so glad you had a good time with your friend. You are so lucky to have her. I really hope I have a sober friend in real life soon. A x

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    1. I hope so too Angie. More people are getting on the sober bandwagon and I am sure you will find someone.

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  3. I am also on day 17, and someone I know online saw your blog and pointed me your way. I was grumping about all of the other sober blogs I am reading are of folks much further along and loving sobriety. I love that you don't always love it! Makes me feel more normal.

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    1. Hi jellyfish..I am on day 121 and I don't always love it either! Hoping to be loving it all of the time one day!!! xo

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    2. Hi Jellyfish, I know what you mean. I think when I first starting reading blogs I did get disheartened that I kept repeating the day 1, 2, 3 when everyone else had only tried once. Of course now I know I am not alone and there are plenty of people who have struggled. Well done on day 17 it REALLY is a big deal. Keep going.

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  4. Wow GG..what a difference 17 days makes! I am so happy for you! Look at what an inspiration you were to your friend...imagine how much you are an inspiration to the sober blogging community!!!
    So happy you had a great time with your girlfriend! xo

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    1. Arrrrrggghhhhhh don't scare me this early ha ha. I can recommend 50 blogs to look at for inspiration, I'll just muddle along here for a bit. BTW you would be one of the 50 ;-)

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  5. So great to hear you have a great friend like this and had a wonderful visit with her! Thanks for posting about it!

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    1. She is the best friend ever. So lucky to have her

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  6. Really pleased you're doing so well! It's so good to hear about the weekend with your friend, especially compared with the formerly typical weekend (and I know, because I used to have those exact kind of nights, too.) And oh, the joys of sober sleep! All great stuff xo

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    1. I think we all used to do that. Yes sober sleep is good when it's good, still can't figure out the nights when I am in that half sleep. Better than I have been having so won't complain.

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  7. Brilliant Ginge, there is something of a hump to get over but once you get a few days behind you then you build up some momentum. It's still far from easy and there will be dark days and nights ahead. I am just over 5 months now and can't afford to take my eye off the ball but my mindset is changing. I gave up smoking 22 years ago after being a heavy smoker for 16 so I know all things are possible. Have cut down massively on carbs and sugar and Weds is now circuits before breakfast and spinning this evening. I am determined that there will be a smaller and fitter me before the end of the year - pile on that pain - YES!!

    Justonemore

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    1. You sound like you are doing everything within your power to keep yourself on the straight and narrow. On really good days I think I have to remember this for when I am dying to have a drink. All good today again.

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  8. That's amazing, what a great thing that you can be an inspiration to someone. Well done you! x

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    1. I would say you are an inspiration too MTTS. Post soon I miss your words.

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  9. That is so great you inspired your friend to go sober too. Life is better sober, I feel it's the right path for me too. Glad you had s good weekend. PDTG

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    1. Yes and she is now inspiring me, how cool is that. Life is better sober!! What a shame some of us forget that sometimes. We most definitely are on the right path.

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  10. Isn't it amazing the impact we have on others when we don't even realize it? Go you on how well you are doing. Day 11 here, double digits. You are doing GREAT!

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    1. Yay for you, I am so happy you are going strong. You know what? You are doing great too.

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  11. Love the snapshot into your visit. I'm toasting great friendship with a sparkling water and fresh lime!

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  12. Wonderful friend to have, as are you for her!!!
    xoxoxo
    Wendy

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