Day 20 and it barely registered on my radar that it was Friday aside from the joy that comes from finishing work for the week.
I can honestly say that I don't recall having a single thought about alcohol, even when I opened a Beck's Blue it seemed unrelated to alcohol. Only on waking up today (day 21) did I realise that I hadn't given it a passing thought and even then it came from my recollection of last Saturday's climbing the walls. I think I must be on high alert to that happening again but for now I am just going along smoothly.
I have noticed that I have stopped beginning and ending every sentence with some proclamation about how tired I am, like I invented tiredness. I am still tired but it doesn't feel as overwhelming as it did the last few weeks. I am going to bed on time and sometimes early and getting a good 8 hours, last night was 9 but I guess my body needs it.
So by the end of today I will have made it to 3 weeks and that is such an achievement. Isn't there something about sober milestones 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months or is it weeks, months, years? I am hoping it is the first as that would be about 90+ days. For me this week has been relatively easy and I have caught a trigger here and there along with distorted thinking about drinking i.e. I am going to drink to punish YOU, when in fact that only punishes me. I forgot to share that the night of the fight when all was still well early in the evening, my daughter came into the living room and was looking about frantic and deranged. I asked her what was the matter and she said "are you drinking wine?" To which I replied that no of course I wasn't "why is the bottle opener on the counter? With a cork in it!" Poor girl, since I have really told her about it and how bad it made me feel she has tried to do her bit to support me. I had to explain that I don't have a beer bottle opener so have to use the one on the top of the corkscrew to open my Beck's Blue and she visibly relaxed. My mind thought 'oh god I'm screwed if I ever start again' then I had to quickly think that that wasn't going to happen.
Here's to the next 3 weeks, months and years. All milestones I intend to achieve, but only one day at a time.