Day 23 and all is well. Tonight I am just checking in with my day count as I promised I would post every to 100 and then post less frequently. I don't know how all you regular almost daily bloggers do it, I can usually come up with something but I feel I then don't have time to post on everyone else's blog.
Tonight I am going to do the rounds and read and take inspiration from all of you lovely people as I have fallen behind on checking in with new people.
Thanks for all the amazing feedback yesterday and to everyone who shared the units. I feel a bit embarrassed I didn't have the courage yesterday but was that old demon "no-one drinks as much as me, they will all be shocked at me" of course that would lead to you all hating me and abandoning me etc etc i.e. catastrophe thinking at its finest.
I would say I was firmly in the 80 units range for years with a bottle of wine a night and a little more at the weekends. When the gin/vodka crept in I was in the 100-120 per week but definitely since about March I was peaking at 150 and that I felt to be just unacceptable. Maybe I was searching for "bottom" and I think I found it. A high bottom by some accounts but clearly in the destructive drinking levels and well on the way to a DUI or accident the next day driving I am sure. The writing was on the wall, the writing IS on the wall. I am under no illusion that if I did go back to drinking and it took me as long to stop drinking as it did this time I would be a lot further down. I read somewhere that alcoholism (let's just use that word for convenience, I know a lot of you don't like it) is like an elevator that is going down and you can choose to get off before it gets to the bottom but sometimes you are ready to get off but it doesn't stop for a few floors. When the door next opens GET OFF cos you can't be sure when the next stop is and if you will still be able to get off.
Everyone who shared yesterday is very brave and very generous and without getting all mushy on you it really made me realise what a fabulous web of support there is woven through all of the various blogs. I have never felt more connected than I did yesterday and for that I am truly grateful.