Monday, 20 June 2016

30/100 Anti-climax in a good way

Day 30 Well I thought I would be turning cartwheels today but no, just another day at the office. Am I happy? Yes, delighted! Would I recommend it? Absolutely! Did I have cake? No but I did have a mega bag of cheese and onion crisps/chips and a Twirl bar, yum.

I am feel strangely unmoved by it all though, it feels like I have been here for a long time and it feels comfortable (here come fear and panic) I genuinely do feel like I have picked up where I left it  last time at five months. I am not so naive to think it is going to be all plain sailing but I feel in a groove and it is a good place to be.

So what is different this time?
1. I really wanted this by the time I stopped and it was time by the time I stopped.
2. I adopted the one day at a time mantra because forever is way too long.
3. I signed up to Belle's 100 day challenge, previously I would have scoffed and poopooed the idea             but this time I embraced the challenge (thank you Red for the shove)
4. I have spent a lot of time sleeping and staying in bed late on the weekends as I was tired beyond belief and just allowed myself to be tired and not push it.
5. I have eaten quite a bit of really bad food (even for me) and I have not been all judgemental about it as I usually would.
6. I have spent a great deal of time reading blogs, commenting on blogs and writing a daily post. Reading other people's thoughts and ideas can really shine a light on things you may have thought but not fully embraced.
7. Survived a mega DAY LONG craving that I felt sure would beat me but it didn't I BEAT IT!!!
8. Told people, only those I truly love and respect and then benefitted from their support and encouragement.
9. Taken time to smell the roses, listen to the birds, enjoy my daily walk without obsessing over everything I have to do.
10. Incorporated at least 1 small 20 minute job into my day to foster a sense of achievement, but also forgiven myself and let it go on the nights when I just couldn't face it.
11. Cried, A LOT! I have had so much emotion bubble up out of me that I could rapidly cycle between laughter and tears and back again all within about 3 minutes.
12. Allowed time for introspection and reflection and sometimes written about it and gained even more insight.
13. Tried alcohol free beers. They work for me and are not a trigger but A/F wine would be a different story.
14. Not drunk alcohol, yep this time is also different as I haven't caved in and had a drink which is kind of the whole idea behind this.

I am sure there are other things too but that is everything that I think I have done this time that I hadn't really done before.

Blogging and commenting have been a big part of this for me and I have really benefitted from so much support and understanding. This is still a challenge for me as over time I have withdrawn into myself and this is starting to get me engaged again. Next step will be IRL- in real life. So here is to the next 30 days and onwards to 100.

Thanks to everyone in 'Team Ginger'  that has helped me get to this point so far, all the support has been really valuable and a key part of this. If you can grit your teeth and get over the first 10 days then the next 20 are a little easier, I don't think anyone really rides the pink clouds day 1-10 so if you feel like you have been turned violently inside out and drained of personality hang in there.

Now, I have some chocolate to finish before bed if you'll excuse me.

Ginger Groundhog

28 comments:

  1. Today is my day 100, and I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself !! I'm celebrating with a glass of milk and a couple of custard creams !! The next milestone I'm setting is to get to 6 months ... because forever still seems too long !!

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    1. Congratulations on Day 100 WildcatsMaisie!!!!

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    2. Amazing!! Well done. I can't wait to type those words myself. And yes do the 180 days next. Sorry to say though you lost me at a glass of milk and custard creams ha ha. Very happy for you.

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  2. Congratulations Ginger on 30 days!! That is so awesome! I found blogging and commenting really helpful too and I still don't think of forever. After the 100 days I signed up for 180 and am now currently doing team 365. It's easier to break it down into achievable milestones, for me it has been anyway. A x

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    1. As you well know I have been following your progress for ages and am always thrilled when you reach a new significant number. Six weeks is my next one and today I downloaded a counting app on my phone even though I know exactly what day I am on.

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  3. Congratulations on 30 awesome days!!! Well done you!
    From a 'Team Ginger' supporter across the pond! :)

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    1. Thanks Joni, glad you are on my team, hope all is well with you.

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  4. I am so happy for you GG!!! Day 30 is a HUGE milestone! Your accomplishments are great!!! Keep going!!! xo

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    1. Thanks S@53, it is a big one for me.

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  5. Big congratulations! Go you!

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  6. Hi Ginger!
    I am back from my mom's again!
    I am so happy for your 30 Days, as I know how hard it has been.
    Your list of what has been making a difference is a wonderful reminder to me, too.
    xoxoxo
    Wendy

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    1. Welcome back Wendy. Hope your mom is doing ok and still improving. Yes these 30 days have been a while coming and hard won.

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  7. Congratulations! 30 days is so great! I hear you on feeling like it's normal, and I think that's perfect. I feel like that, too. But I'm also glad you're celebrating with chocolate, and stopping to remind yourself what's different this time round. Hooray you! xo

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    1. Thanks Thirsty. Comparing it to last time helped me see that my day count is still low but my mentality seems further along than last time. The chocolate did help :-)

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  8. Excellent news! 30 days, month one done. I like you have done this before, I think it get easier. We know where we are heading, we just need to get there. PDTG

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    1. I wish I could capture the feeling when you are having a good day and all of this makes complete sense. Some days it seems so obvious and some days it's like you only remember the good bits. That's why like you say it gets easier, I think it's harder to ignore the reality and easier to remember the bad.

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  9. Congratulations on 30 days! I relate to that feeling of anti-climax but it's a much calmer feeling than the stress of knowing you have to stop drinking. Evenings can feel a bit boring now if I don't keep busy but I have to remember that drinking every night was also really, really boring! Anyway, you've done so well. Good for you xx

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    1. What bored me to death was the broken record that played every bloody morning, same stupid remorse and promises to myself I wouldn't do it again. Like your name it's my idle hands that bother me and I think that is why blogging works, keeps me busy.

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  10. 30 days!! I love your list. It really is true that you have to try different not harder. Blogging and finding people in this bloggershere is the biggest difference I made this time round and it helps immensely. xxx

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    1. I think it is funny when I remember my friend telling me years ago she started a blog and I thought who the heck is gonna read that. I didn't even read it myself (hangs head in shame) Now I get it, now i know this has been a huge part of it. Try difference not harder, indeed.

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  11. Ginge, bloody brilliant. Love and empathise with your list. I think we develop a better sense of perspective. The only really important thing is being sober, a lot of the rest don't matter. Shit still happens, the only difference is we're sober. There is no silver bullet and it takes guts, determination, willpower and people will get pissed off with us on the way, because, they are jealous, in denial, don't fucking understand etc but the bottom line remains - you're still sober. So bask in some well-deserved glory and don't stop giving up!!

    Justonemore

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    1. I love your pithy, pissy turn of phrase. All so very true and cuts right to the heart of the matter. Thank you Justonemore, you will see day 31 was a bit more of a wobble but I still made it through. I will bask at some point I promise.

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  12. You're awesome Ginger! So proud to be a member of your team. Hugs and huge congrats xxx

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    1. Thanks SM, so glad to have you on my team cheering me on. It's taken nearly 6 months to get to day 30 but I made it. Hugs back at ya.

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  13. Go Ginger! Go Ginger! So chuffed for you, 30 days is just fabulous. I'm very happy for you, my friend. Onwards to the 100 now! Red xx

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    1. Thank you Red. Onwards and hopefully upwards. 100 days are calling my name.

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