My sister arrives on Thursday and this is her first visit to my house. Since we have reconciled we have kept in contact and we seem so much stronger than before. Because we only met for the first time when I was 30 and she 32, we don't have a shared past so we have only have the recent years on which to base our relationship and several of those were tainted by my family giving her a very biased PoV of me (always been the black sheep) and the fact that I can get very defensive when caught on the back foot. It was the wrong combination of bad and it soured our blossoming relationship for several years. We are both bigger and better people now thank goodness.
Thoughts of alcohol are quite far from my mind and today I didn't even think about anything until 4pm when I thought "I haven't thought about drinking today". It did change later when the daughter and I had a big old fight and when I took the dogs out I stomped around the field fantasising how I would drink at her to show her (duh!! Stupid thought alert) luckily that was all it was a stupid thought that I didn't really have any intention of following through on. I was even more annoyed because for once I was actually the grown up in the argument!
This weekend will be the first time I will have alcohol in the house since I quit. I am not bothered or worried about it because fortunately my sister drinks Prosecco and that is not my thang at all. I plan to tell her that I am unable to drink due to a medical thing so she doesn't bring me wine but I do plan to tell her when she is here the real reason. I am alert to the fact that once the alcohol is poured it might be a bit of a trigger but I also have no desire or cravings today. My daughter will be here to be by my side but overall I am feeling confident about it. My best friend has offered to be on the end of the phone if I start to go crazy. I have just paused to check in with myself how I feel when I think about a glass of red and I felt very neutral and no desire to indulge.
I am considering plans for the future to get out there a bit more and do stuff. Our local cinema has movie night for £5 on Mondays so I might go to that and then one night/day I would like to go swimming. I used to be an excellent swimmer but it has fallen by the wayside. Last but not least I would like to lose enough weight to be able to horse riding again, it was a love of mine but I am too porky to get on a horse these days. So those are some sober goals I want to work toward. Baby steps, baby steps.