Day 63 = nine whole weeks.
I am not yet over my temper tantrum meltdown and was exhausted tired today. I am just going with it as I seem to recall I have had a few (maybe you think too many) cranky rough days in the last 9 weeks and I have come out the other side, eventually. It is just kart of my journey.
I wish I could say I wasn't thinking about drinking but thoughts did plague me all day long, just throw the towel in, give it a break, just one more good few weeks and the inevitable, maybe this time I can keep it under control. I let all this play on in the back of my mind without paying it too much attention but just aware it was there and I need to be alert to it.
I went to the grocery store today and bought some more Becks Blue and when I was in line to pay, the family in front of me were finishing up. It looked like a grandpa, son and brother or son and grandson. Anyway the younger boy who was maybe 20's had some kind of mental disability and I had noticed the family earlier cos the grandpa seemed to be so kind to him and seemed to have a nice spirit. Anyway as I was loading my stuff onto the belt Becks Blue already near the front, I looked up and the middle guy who was maybe 40's had Becks Blue in his arms. We had split second eye contact and he gave me a smile that I can't quite explain but like ' yeah me too' friendly but a little bit sad or resigned. I wish I had given a smile back but I was just too slow to react, he turned and was gone.
I forgot to say I did reward my two months with a new phone. Mine, inherited from my daughter when she upgraded, has been slowly dying and acting up for weeks. I was looking at getting it repaired but the thought I should treat myself so I did, got and older version iPhone but still new, to mark the occasion.
Today is over and I am tucked up in bed, please let me feel a bit better tomorrow.