Monday is free therapy day for me as I have a young, enthusiastic and attentive therapist who uses the spare desk in my office. We have sparked up a bit of a friendship and she also has up and down moods herself so we can speak freely about if we up or down. So today I was sharing how down I have been and how my moods are like a swing up and down with a regular rhythm. We both shared and then she pointed out that I do very little to fill my tank but a great deal to empty it. Even the good things like a visit from my sister involved days of cleaning, worry about my house still not being finished, cooking up a storm to be the ideal host etc so whilst enjoyable, not that relaxing. Then I fall into a low when I am back on my own and have to then do all the tail end stuff, strip the beds, wash the guest towels and bedding all on top of my full time job and part time domestic
I mentioned before that I want to get back into swimming and horse riding and offered a few 'buts' as to why I couldn't, all excuses. Thanks to Justonemore who made me chuckle when she told be to just find a bigger horse if I was too heavy for the regular ones ha ha - I will work on that. The thing is it is true, I do very little to fill the tank and reading is about my only regular pleasure especially as I can now remember what is going on from chapter to chapter. But aside from that it is all depletion no replenishment. The Monday therapist said she wants me to make a big list of things I would love to do and include some that seem out of my reach like skydiving or going to Machu Pichu hiking just fill a list with stuff and try and do the simple stuff like going to the movies once a month or meeting up with friends, stuff where I don't have to put a great deal of effort in myself but get some benefit from. I can't come up with the list tonight as I still have the grumps and can't see the positives but I will work on it and see how far it get. Watch this space.
I am away to my bed with a book to get some me time away from the dust and cobwebs that will just have to wait. Maybe I can play on my daughter's sympathies and persuade her to give the house a quick once over. Maybe I will ride a unicorn to work tomorrow too......