Monday, 25 July 2016

65/100 Talking it out.

Day 65 and I am once again slightly better. Still a bit moody but able to at least fake being ok at work.

Monday is free therapy day for me as I have a young, enthusiastic and attentive therapist who uses the spare desk in my office. We have sparked up a bit of a friendship and she also has up and down moods herself so we can speak freely about if we up or down. So today I was sharing how down I have been and how my moods are like a swing up and down with a regular rhythm. We both shared and then she pointed out that I do very little to fill my tank but a great deal to empty it. Even the good things like a visit from my sister involved days of cleaning, worry about my house still not being finished, cooking up a storm to be the ideal host etc so whilst enjoyable, not that relaxing. Then I fall into a low when I am back on my own and have to then do all the tail end stuff, strip the beds, wash the guest towels and bedding all on top of my full time job and part time domestic goddess ok that is a stretch, domestic novice.

I mentioned before that I want to get back into swimming and horse riding and offered a few 'buts' as to why I couldn't, all excuses. Thanks to Justonemore who made me chuckle when she told be to just find a bigger horse if I was too heavy for the regular ones ha ha - I will work on that. The thing is it is true, I do very little to fill the tank and reading is about my only regular pleasure especially as I can now remember what is going on from chapter to chapter. But aside from that it is all depletion no replenishment. The Monday therapist said she wants me to make a big list of things I would love to do and include some that seem out of my reach like skydiving or going to Machu Pichu hiking just fill a list with stuff and try and do the simple stuff like going to the movies once a month or meeting up with friends, stuff where I don't have to put a great deal of effort in myself but get some benefit from. I can't come up with the list tonight as I still have the grumps and can't see the positives but I will work on it and see how far it get. Watch this space.

I am away to my bed with a book to get some me time away from the dust and cobwebs that will just have to wait. Maybe I can play on my daughter's sympathies and persuade her to give the house a quick once over. Maybe I will ride a unicorn to work tomorrow too......

Ginger Groundhog

13 comments:

  1. Reading helps me a lot too. It is my escape. Books and Netflix. Interesting suggestion for your therapist. I would not put skydiving on the list as I am deathly afraid of heights but Machu Pichu? Sign me up. Maybe I should make my own list.
    Let me know when you finally ride that unicorn to work. :)

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    1. Yes skydiving is something I can consider whilst firmly planted on the ground. The reality of staring out the open plane door may be different. Books are my sanity.

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  2. Reading helps me a lot too. It is my escape. Books and Netflix. Interesting suggestion for your therapist. I would not put skydiving on the list as I am deathly afraid of heights but Machu Pichu? Sign me up. Maybe I should make my own list.
    Let me know when you finally ride that unicorn to work. :)

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  3. I'm sorry you are out of sorts. How wonderful to have a therapist to talk to at work! She makes some good points. We tend to worry about everyone and everything else and leave ourselves to last. Maybe try doing one thing for yourself everyday. It's time to put yourself first. Hope you are feeling better soon. A x

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    1. I am lucky that I work in mental health and am surrounded by therapists. The only reason I open up to this one is that we have become close. I definitely need to put some fun stuff down for myself.

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  4. You are doing such good work here Ginger. We can find strength to ride this stuff through. Isn't that surprising?!

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    1. It is the frequency with which I have to find the strength that is wearing me down. I know it will pass but it taking its sweet time about it.

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  5. Free therapy day sounds great! I like what your office mate says here. I'm curious what you put on that list. Sorry you've been feeling low, but hooray you for 6 days sober! xo

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    1. Free therapy and with someone who I like and trust. I give her my version of tough love therapy also ha ha as I'm only unofficially Dr Ginger in the office. It is especially nice as very often through reading patient records it sparks things in me that I can then address there and then. It's a perk of the job being always openly able to discuss your feelings and get feedback. Still thinking about the list.

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  6. Your friend at work has a good point. You might need to recharge the batteries, put your feet up and relax. PDTG x

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    1. I am starting to think I might need to get away for a day or two by myself to recharge as at home all I see are jobs to do and building work incomplete. Thanks PDTG

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  7. The replenishment often comes from the tiny things.
    Washing your face before bed. Drinking warm water first thing in the morning. Eating your favourite lunch because you planned in advance.
    What is one thing you could add to your daily routine that would make you smile? Try that.

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    1. Thanks Anne. I will try and identify one thing per day.. I know I maybe should know but I very often can't think of something. I will dedicate some time to this.

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