Monday, 23 October 2017

Day 2 - oh how painful that is to write

Day 2 and as many may experience, it's been pretty easy to see the day out with very little craving. My usual peak craving is around day 4 when I have slept soundly, had a few sober days and the energy returns. It's about that time my brain kicks in with its maybe I'll just have one more goodbye session which then sparks another 4-5 days drinking until the next Sunday or Monday rolls around.

I did contact my friend last night and gave her the warts and all account. So I'm have shone the light on my secret which does make it feel more real and me more accountable.

Keeping it short but sweet tonight.

Ginger Groundhog

6 comments:

  1. Here to cheer you on! Don't worry about day 4, just don't drink today. Take care of yourself .

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    1. Thanks for that. Yes am trying to stay in the day and moment.

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  2. Hey GG
    I am sorry to hear you fell off the wagon but seriously don't beat yourself up for this. It is a process and these things are never easy. Thing of how well you have done and how quickly you will be able to get back there. I know you will. I am still the usual on/off/on/off. I think the most important is that we both keep trying :):) Let's do this together!

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    1. Hey TWTIK I'm up for it if you are 😊. Just dusting myself off for this next go. I learn a new lesson each time, I just hope I don't run out of time before I run out of tries.

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  3. Ginger, I'm sorry to hear your pain in your writing. For awhile you went 'round and 'round and then it stuck. So then it didn't.
    But you know what you want. Just regroup and go for it. For me the hardest thing is thinking about forever. How can I do forever and what if I fail? Sometimes that fear of failure keeps me from trying. (I have the same relationship with weight and exercise that I have with alcohol!) I think you should be really proud of how far you got. Okay, you stumbled. Now you can dust off and move forward again. If you stumble again, so be it. Get back in the saddle as soon as you are able. You do have some serious muscle memory now, take advantage of it. If I have learned anything here from these blogs it is that it's not always "snap" I'm going to be sober and then I am. For some, yes. For me, no. And I'm okay with that. I'm just going to keep trying in my own way. I'll get where I want to be because I won't give up. (That's the key! We are all here for a reason, because we are trying and we haven't given up!!!) I may not know where I want to be but I know where I don't want to be....if that doesn't seem too cryptic. You know you prefer sobriety. Just....get...back....to...it.....I'm so close to joining you I can't stand it. Thanks for being an amazing role model. Hugs!

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    1. Ouch! Role model hurts right now as I feel anything but, however I appreciate the sentiment and hugs. You're right too, I DO prefer sober. Except for those few heavy crave moments when a drink just seems like a great idea, I prefer not to have the constant thinking about drinking or not drinking. For me the more I drink, the more I eat, the more I weigh. It's been like that forever and I need to find the key to break that and I can't do that when I am still drinking.
      Don't think about forever, never think about forever just think about right now and today and this afternoon and this evening. Don't even think about tomorrow only ever today cos it's all you have control over.
      Habit Done today.

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