Thursday, 2 November 2017

Day 4 - breathing easy

Day 4 and feeling good. Had a solid uninterrupted night sleep last night and felt refreshed for a change.

Not a whiff of craving or thoughts today. I'm not sure if everyone has this but there is a mile or two of country lanes I drive through to get home and there is one stretch with a few bends where alcohol thoughts seem to just pop into my mind. I'm sure it must be linked to 1000's of times I made the decision to stop at the shop at that very point in my journey. It's a habit or a trigger or repetative thought, same way my mum reflexively crossed herself when we passed a church, any church.

Tonight I drove home thinking about how dark it was and wondering what time I would be done walking the dogs, sorting the kitchen, cooking dinner and finally sitting down. No thoughts at all on the way home or even up until I started to write this. A small win but I'll take it.

Tomorrow a colleague leaves our company and wanted to go out for drinks, I said I'd prefer to meet her another day for coffee as I don't like bars and she automatically said "No, we'll all go for coffee" just like that. I actually felt guilty and ended up going back and offering to pick her up and drive her home so she could have a drink and she declined saying she was now looking forward to coffee or afternoon tea so we can actually talk not yell over music and other drunk people. So afternoon tea/coffee it is.

Tomorrow is Friday and I am a little fearful that the Friday Night Craves will come swooping in with a vengeance but for now I need only worry about today and today was a good day.



  1. I think everyone defaults to "meet for drinks" because it doesn't require a lot of thought. Personally, I prefer "meeting for food" if I can get others on board. 😃

    1. Betty I'll meet you for food ANY day, that is any day before I tackle my next addiction, FOOD!!!

  2. I think coffee sounds great
    I forget, did you go to AA before? Would you consider trying it this time?
    Sometimes we need different support to make a change stick.
    Hugs. Have a good night.

    1. I have been to 3-4 meetings all in my very small town and each time I felt more depressed and hopeless. Having said that, I have bought Russell Brand's new book "Recovery" which he re-words the 12 Steps into his own vernacular and tackles all the touchy subjects like the "God" focus that so many people get hung up on. It has opened my mind (a small bit) to the possibility of trying another meeting but it's an hour away so not jumping at the chance yet. Still it's movement in the right direction and as I have enormous respect for Russel Brand, I'll give it further consideration.